5. Jonathan -- Soon I'm Gonna Be A Mason

Bro. Jonathan Hirshon -- Soon I'm Gonna Be A Mason:

https://youtu.be/hEcjgJSqSRU

 

[Intro]

A long, long time ago

In an island - far away

Colombo was - under an attack ¹

 

And I thought me and Obama ²

Could talk the LTTE into

Maybe - cutting them a little slack

But their response, it didn't thrill us

They loaded mortars bombs - and tried to hit us ³

 

We escaped from that blast

Then met M R and Hansa ⁴

We took a chopper from the scene ⁵

And we went to Kandy -- to see teeth ⁶

We all wound up in a Pe-ra-he-ra ⁷

 

That's where, we found, this boy...

 

Oh

 

[Chorus]

My, my, this here - Lehan guy

May be Trump someday later, now he's just a small fry

And he left his home - and kissed his mommy goodbye

Sayin', "Soon I'm gonna be a Mason":

 

"Soon I'm gonna be a Mason".

 

[Verse 1]

Did you know this third-world thug

Isn't even cool enough to snort!? ⁸

"But he can use the Force", they say

Ah, do you see him hit'n on "Cassie"? ⁹

Though he's too peaky - and she's an "Akki"

Yeah, he's probably gonna hire her someday

 

Well, I know he built a Wix website ¹⁰

And I've heard how fast his pen can go

And we were broke, it's true

So we made a wager or two ¹¹

He was a good-for-nothin' lyin' thief

 

And the minute Thilanga signed off that deal

Well, I knew who would steal proceeds ¹²

Oh yes, it was - our boy!

 

We started singin'

 

[Chorus]

My, my, this here Lehan guy

May be Hefner someday later, now he's just a jerk off

And he left his home - and kissed his Ammi* goodbye

Sayin', "Soon I'm gonna be a Mason":

 

"Soon I'm gonna be a Mason".

 

[Verse 2]

Now we finally got to "pricing talks"

The Telco Chairman we knew would want

To see how good - the boy could be

 

So we took him there - and we told the tale

How his imagination was off the scale

And he might - fulfill 'that Prophecy' ¹⁴

 

Oh, the President was impressed, of course

Could he bring balance to the Force?

They interviewed the kid

Oh, bribery they forbid! ¹⁵

 

Because Channa sensed in him much fear ¹⁶

And Bhante said "Now listen here ¹⁷

Just stick it in your pointy ear

I still will teach this boy"

 

He was singin'

 

[Chorus]

My, my, this here Lehan guy

May be Zuckerberg later, now he's just a startup

And he left his home - and kissed his mommy goodbye

Sayin', "Soon I'm gonna be a Mason":

 

"Soon I'm gonna be a Mason".

 

[Bridge]

We caught a ride back home to DC

'Cause Jagath Sumathipala wanted to

I frankly would've liked to stay

 

We all fought in that Civil War

And it wasn't long at all before

Little hotshot - signed his deal and - saved the day!

 

And in the end, some haters cried

Some firms went bust and some CEOs fried

(Jit) Warnakulasuriya was croakin' ¹⁸

 

-The, bitch, was, ritually, stoned- ¹⁹

 

And the Mason I admire most

Met up with Shavendra - and now he's toast ²⁰

Well, I'm still here - and he's a ghost

I guess, I'll train this boy...

 

And I was singin'

 

[Chorus]

My, my, this here Lehan guy

May be Lee Kuan Yew later, now he's just a small guy

And he left his home - and kissed his mommy goodbye

Sayin', "Soon I'm gonna be a Mason":

 

"Soon I'm gonna be a Mason".

 

We were singin'

 

[Chorus]

My, my, this here Lehan guy

May finish Upali's dream, now he's just a dreamer

And he left his home - and kissed his mommy goodbye

Sayin', "Soon I'm gonna be a Mason".

 

_________________________________________________

 

Footnotes:

 

1. The Liberation Tamil Tigers of Eelam were a Tamil rebel separatist movement. A number of countries have condemned them as a terrorist organisation led by opportunistic Prabhakaran who began his campaign by assassinating a Tamil Mayor of Jaffna and later Indian Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi and SL President Premadasa and many leaders.

List of People Assassinated by the LTTE:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_assassinated_by_the_Liberation_Tigers_of_Tamil_Eelam

List of Attacks Attributed to the LTTE:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_attacks_attributed_to_the_LTTE

2. Obama was only elected towards the end of Bob's diplomatic mission to Sri Lanka and Maldives. President George Washington Bush presided over much of Bob Blake Jr's diplomatic mission.

3. The LTTE had mortar bombed US Ambassador Bob Blake and Pio Mariani the Italian Ambassador as reported on Tuesday, 27 February 2007, 14:35 GMT:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6399485.stm

"The US and Italian ambassadors have been hurt in a mortar attack launched by suspected Tamil Tiger rebels in eastern Sri Lanka", officials say.

JR Jayawardene's nephew Mahinda Samarasinghe was also present on this faithful day. 

4. Former President and current Prime Minister Mahinda Rajapaksa and Axiata COO and now Telco CEO Dr Hans Wijayasuriya.

5. Chopper refers to helicopter, although you can substitute "copter" or another popular transport method in Colombo: "trishaw" which means three-wheeler.

6. Buddha's teeth are enshrined in the Temple of the Sacred Tooth Relic in Kandy. Lehan's grandmother Dr Milina Sumathipala was previously and mum's brother Jagath Sumathipala is presently President/ Chairman of the Sri Lanka Buddhist authority: All Ceylon Buddhist Congress and World Fellowship of Buddhists.

 

Celebrated actor and singer Vijaya Kumaratunga, who was President Chandrika Kumaratunge's husband was also a friend of the Sumathipala family and starred in Ganga Addara before he was allegedly murdered by President Ranasinghe Premadasa and his ministers Sirisena Cooray and Gamini Lokuge who supplied an assassin called "Tarzan" with a Type 56 automatic rifle.

7. Lehan imagines Lehan met Bob Blake Jr in Gangaramaya Perahera, although it was most likely Podi and also Koṇḍañña Hamaduru.

 

Lehan's grandfather Udu Watuwage Sumathipala built Gangaramaya Temple, the the primary devotee custodian family and constructed the massive Thorana stone monument at the entrance.

 

Due to public popularity, especially from local cricket clubs, Lehan's mother's brother Thilanga Sumathipala repeatedly served as President of Sri Lanka Cricket.

8. Lehan lies he does not snort cocaine, although Lehan snorts cocaine all the time and has never gotten addicted.

 

Lehan claims he may have first snorted cocaine with the son of someone who was mortar bombed along with Robert O'Blake by the LTTE. 

9. Lehan saw "Cass" had a Harvard Computer Science degree, so told her: "customers will buy everything he has to sell and pay double when they see her".

 

The real name has been hidden, until we hire her one day.

10. Wix makes stunning websites. Cyberspace Command's website is found at https://www.cyberspacecommand.com

11. Lehan's family operate a 500+ shop Bookmaking monopoly in Sri Lanka via Sporting Star Leisure Sports Betss.com & Sumathipala family make agreements with Lakshman Balasuriya who owns Sporting Times.

12. Lehan often jokes he gets most of the earnings, although he shares 60-40 with principals, 50-50 with business partners and 35-65 with his team.

13. Lehan calls his mum, "Ammi" which means mother in Sinhala language. "Akki" means older sister.

14. This Prophesy refers to Lehan: "Finishing his late father Palith Edirisinghe & the celebrated SL heroes Vijaya Kumaratunga and Upali Wijewardene's Dream" of a fully developed Sri Lanka.

15. SL leaders are afraid Lehan will leave to the US and also will prefer if Saint Lehan Edirisinghe is the only business leader in Sri Lanka who does not pay bribes, so he is made the poster child mascot of Sri Lanka.

16. Channa Palansuriya was the Sampath Bank chairman who asked but failed to get CIO Ajith Salgado to sign an agreement with Thilanga Sumathipala's cyber security company for national security reasons.

17. Venerable Dr Bhante Saranapala is a Buddhist monk in Canada who mentors Lehan and many leaders such as Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

18. Jit Warnakulasuriya, the owner of four IT companies in Sri Lanka: including Just In Time Group -- was first to see Lehan's dad dead in hospital in 2005.

19. This is a ritual event in Lehan's firm to understand and establish religious foundations of major faiths.

20. Lt. General Shavendra Silva is the Commander of Sri Lanka Armed Forces -- and Jacques Huyghebaert's friend -- Shavendra Silva's wife Sujeewa Nelson and Defence Secretary Major General (Retired) Kamal Gunarathna are Lehan's mum's friend who go for walks with her around Independence Square.